Acceptance🤝

This will be the hardest pill to swallow.

accepting the things you can't change was something that caught me off guard, for someone being hurt like this for so long it was hard to accept and see the bright side behind it all. it was as if all the drama in your past structured you into the person that you have become, whether you carry good/bad traits.

the hardest part is to realize that holding onto the past and never forgiving will be the cause of you reaching a point where emotional growth will come to a standstill.

Steps to follow when you don't know where to start your healing journey:

1. you need to go way back in memory-lane. Instead of trying to run away from the distress, or burry it to try and forget, you need to sit with it. this might take days or weeks and this can cause a complete emotional crack. you might want to cry, scream and run away, but don't stop. see this as chasing the demons away who made themselves feel at home for way to long.
2. you may keep to yourself for a period of time. start the healing process in a period of time when your living alone or while your parents went away. by keeping to yourself I DO NOT MEAN that you should not speak to friends, family or a psychologist and ask for help. Being open minded and sharing emotions with the people you trust does not make you a weak person. you should make it clear that you need a shoulder during the time that you will be going trough, it helps to know that there are still people waiting for you on the other side.
3. you might feel the need to take a break from healing in-between and that is OK, dealing with all the trauma at once isn't always the best and fastest option.
4. you need to start forgiving your mother for using you as her comfort and safe space even if you only wanted to live. forgive your father for not always being present and give him a chance to be a part of your future, show them that you are not the person that they believed you were. forgive your step-father for what he did to your brother and for how he treated your mother occasionally, try to understand what his past was too and that he didn't have the opportunity of dealing with his battles in the way that you have the opportunity now. forgive your step-mother for all the hurtful things she has said and done, even though those things broke you, you should know that those words do not define you. forgive you step-brother/sister and half-brothers/sisters, once apon a time they were also young and naive just like you were and you never knew how they must have felt trough all the conflict. forgive yourself for letting your morals go, and for letting men/women get the better of you. forgive the men/women who stole the last bit of innocence you had.
5. by this time you would feel a change in the way you act and think. you would notice that some friends are drifting and you may feel alone. this is because these friends were seasonal-no matter how badly you wanted them to stay, they were only there to help you and lead you into the next chapter of your life. there is nothing wrong with you when you feel or seem different, this is simply you blooming into the colorful rose that you were always meant to be.
6. it is a good idea to consider new hobbies such as yoga, painting, journaling, reading, drawing, and hiking. (basically any hobbies which you find enjoyable and which is also stimulating your mind).
7. make a vision board if you are feeling creative, but affirming words on there and goals that you want to achieve in you near and far future.
8. remember that you are enough. your thoughts and emotions matter, even though some people might think it is too much, the right people would think it is great. know your worth and know that you are a king/queen in many peoples' eyes- never forget that. you are strong and you are loved.
9. note to yourself: when I say you have to forgive these people I do not mean you have to forget about the past the same day you forgive. the past still forced you into becoming who you are today, you learned so many valuable lessons and you got to grow into things that many grown-ups still need to learn. your past does not define you and your trauma as well as the words that were rained down on you, IS NOT YOUR LABLE.
10. BE OKAY WITH NOT BEING OK. it is normal to relapse every once in a while, even when you though you were over it. like I said it was still a big part of your life. get to know yourself and find comfort in your own hugs. Like Miley Cyrus said, you can buy yourself flower, write your name in the sad, talk to yourself for hours, and hold your own hand.
11. try and cut off any forms of social media for a few days. even though social media can be uplifting, the majority of it causes unhealthy self esteems. social media can also become a unproductive way of burning time. the purpose of this process is to push you into doing the opposite of what you feel like doing (like instead of sleeping all day, getting out of bed) and forcing you out of your comfort zone.
12. lastly, when you don't feel strong enough to do it yourself- my email and blog is open to any questions or times in need of an electronic shoulder.

even though we were never supposed to be the grown-up in all of these relationships, it is important to note that some things can only heal when it is in your hand. know that you are the better person for doing this. the truth will always surface and days filled with endless joy awaits you, so don't drag unwanted luggage into your new chapter.

dear loving, beautiful, and overall gifted reader- you are not the problem. your eyes were shut by pain and sorrow, but your smile and peace still hides in you. allow yourself to breath now.